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mice1900 for the beta! There is definitely a sequel intended, and for those on mailing lists, the version posted there is the fully betaed and polished version. No major changes, but it's a clean copy anyhow. (Also can be found on my website when it's updated.)
CHAPTER SIX
"Come on," John said, starting again to walk away. He waggled a finger at them to encourage them to follow.
"Where are we going?" Carson asked, not moving.
"You said you wanted a drink, right? I have a bottle of fine Athosian booze in my room."
No. Oh, no. Carson shook his head. He *knew* he wasn't ready for that.
John stopped and rolled his eyes. "We are *not* going to get you drunk and seduce you."
"Oh, good," Carson breathed. That was good, right? Although having an excuse -- no. He wasn't going to go there. Well, he was, but -- No.
Maybe.
John was right. He needed a drink. He needed to *panic*. But a drink might serve the same purpose.
"Are you coming?" John asked, and Carson managed to follow him this time. Rodney walked along right beside him. As they headed out of the gateroom Carson found himself wondering if this gave him the right to stare at John's arse.
Not that he would. Or was. But it would clarify things a bit if he knew whether or not he could.
Wouldn't it? He glanced over at Rodney and found his friend already staring -- but he certainly was allowed, since he and John were already lovers. Not that Rodney couldn't have started before then, because who would date a person they didn't enjoy staring at bits of? Carson had no idea how to make himself stop babbling in his head. He called up the urgent repair section of the list and started reading, intently.
"Nice, isn't it?" Rodney asked, startling him. Carson blinked and realised that the section of the list he'd been staring at was superimposed right where he'd not intended to be staring.
"I wasn't -- I was looking at..." He gestured towards his temple. Rodney looked disappointed. Carson swallowed nervously, and tried to remember a time when he felt at all in control of his life. University?
Primary school?
"You don't think it's a nice ass?" Rodney asked.
"Oh, it is," he agreed, then bit his tongue. John grinned at them over his shoulder and Carson thought again about finding a hidden Ancient technology for vanishing through the floor.
"See? Progress, already," Rodney wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
"I'm not -- it isn't," Carson began. He had a sinking feeling he wasn't going to talk himself out of this -- not sure he wanted to, but he couldn't help but feel this was a horrible mistake. He stopped walking, and Rodney stuttered to a stop ahead of him, not quite letting go of Carson's shoulder.
"I'm sorry," Carson said.
Rodney frowned. "You -- we're just going to *talk*," he said.
But Carson shook his head. He knew what they were going to do. If not now, then certainly later. Unless he said 'no' right now. John came up beside them, and Carson noticed he had a rather intense look of his own.
"You know that's not what we're going to do," he said calmly. Calmly as he could pretend to be. His heart was pounding fast enough he was sure they could probably tell.
"You don't think it's a good idea?" John asked. He didn't sound...well, like anything. Carson couldn't read what he might be thinking.
"We're not going to make you do anything you don't want to do," Rodney said. "If you don't want to have sex -- it isn't like I'm going to carry you over my shoulder."
Carson started to nod, grateful that Rodney wasn't going to push this. He hoped they would go, and leave him be until he could face them with some semblance of composure.
"I am," John said. Before Carson could do anything more than gape at him, John was kissing him for a second time.
Carson couldn't even get a hand up to push him away -- possibly because his fingers had clawed their way around John's jacket and were holding on. This was very wrong, he tried to tell himself.
He couldn't remember why, exactly. But he knew he ought to be furious.
John broke the kiss but didn't move -- his face barely an inch away and his breath hot on Carson's face. Panting, and sounding not a little bit angry, as he said, "I don't care if you decide you don't *want* this. But if you say no because you do and think you shouldn't, I'm going to be very annoyed."
It would have been easier to say 'no' anyway if he weren't already hard. If John weren't pressed up against him, able to feel just how much he needed to say 'yes.' But he turned his head just enough to look at Rodney.
Who pushed his way in past John, and grabbed him. Gave him a second kiss of his own, and Carson thought he'd lost his mind when John had kissed him. He'd imagined Rodney gentle, full of care. Not this, shoving his tongue into Carson's mouth, demanding he make way for a kiss that seemed to sear the brain cells out of Carson's skull.
He could feel John's hand on his arm, still feel him pressed up against the left side of his body. Rodney was on the right, both of them pushing him back until he hit the wall. They held him there until Rodney let him go.
They both stepped back half a step. He had plenty of room to run.
All he wanted to do was drop his trousers and tell them to please get on with it. His hand twitched, but he stilled it because he *had* to keep hold of some sense. He tried to remember why, what his objection was. Something about... sex with them.
He groaned, and felt his hips jut forward. Rodney was there again, and this time his hand pressed down on Carson's cock. Carson shoved his hips forward, rubbing against Rodney's hand.
"Is that a yes?" John asked, his voice quiet despite the way he was staring at them -- as though as soon as Carson nodded, he'd tear off their clothes.
So he swallowed and nodded, and Rodney's hand had found its way into his trousers and was pulling them open. Carson let his head fall back, whimpering. John was there, one hand on Carson's face and kissing him -- rough, intense passion that would have made him come anyway, even without the way that Rodney's hand was pulling on him.
His arse was slamming into the wall as he shoved his hips forward and back, trying to fuck Rodney's hand and get more of John's mouth. His hands were tangled up in clothing - whose, had had no idea. Fingers were playing with the head of his cock, then sliding the foreskin down and jerking him off. John's teeth pulled at his lip and his tongue thrust into his mouth, and all Carson could find it in himself to do was hang on.
He tried to shout, or breathe, and his head hit the wall again. There was cool air on his lips as John let him go, and Rodney's mouth was there and a second hand was on his cock. Carson closed his eyes and shouted, hips jerking of their own accord as they brought him off.
They held him as he came, and afterwards he wanted to slide down the wall and collapse, but his arse was plastered flat against the cool metal of the bulkhead -- Rodney and John were there leaning against him, pressing him back. "I..." He tried to swallow, his throat too dry, suddenly, to make any more sound.
Rodney kissed him lightly and John nuzzled his neck. Carson shivered.
It occurred to him, quite clearly, that he ought return the favor. He could feel both men's erections against him, though neither of them was giving him any indication that they expected anything. From him -- he knew that if he left them to it, they'd turn to each other. Alone in the city and they were well used to making out in the hallways already.
Or he could do something he'd wanted to do for a very long time. Carson let himself sink to his knees, and he put his hand on Rodney's hip.
He heard a gasping noise, and thought there might have been words not-quite spoken. He opened Rodney's trousers, and thought that he had never, in all his time knowing the man -- living in close quarters in a variety of places -- seen him in less than pants and a T-shirt.
A hand landed on his shoulder; whose, he didn't know. He pulled Rodney's trousers and pants out of the way. Rodney was muttering something in a thin, desperate voice. Carson smiled, and opened his mouth.
He thought about teasing him. Kissing him lightly, licking ever so gently. Taking his time and making Rodney fair lose his mind over needing to come.
But Rodney had a way of getting even with pranksters. Besides, Carson didn't really want to draw this out. He sucked Rodney into his mouth and heard Rodney gasping. Carson pulled him in, not nearly as far as he could, but enough to get Rodney's cock well moistened. Rodney's voice was abruptly cut off and Carson pulled away, looking up to see John kissing Rodney quite thoroughly. Rodney's hand was working its way inside John's trousers and John was using one hand to assist him.
Carson bent his head back down. Took Rodney's cock once more and licked -- imagining what John's tongue was doing in Rodney's mouth, and mimicking it with his own. Rodney made a choked, panting noise and Carson kept going.
He sucked Rodney's cock in, and pulled his mouth away, hands holding onto Rodney's thighs. He could feel the muscles under his hands trembling. There was Rodney's voice again; he was whispering 'oh god' over and over, and Carson tried to get him louder. He sucked hard and Rodney cried out, echoed by a moan from John.
Pulling back, he teased Rodney with his tongue, knowing by the sound of it that John had taken Rodney's mouth again. He played with Rodney's cock, tasting him and focusing only on the feel of Rodney's cock in his mouth. Rodney's voice came and went, as John kissed him and broke away.
Carson heard Rodney say John's name -- then heard him say his own. Carson opened his mouth and pulled Rodney's cock in as far as he could. He heard Rodney gasp, a strangled sound that made Carson grow hard again. John's voice was there, distant as he pressed his mouth against Rodney's skin, saying words that only Rodney -- if anyone -- could hear.
One more moment, then Carson pulled completely away and wrapped his hand around Rodney's cock. Jerked him off two, three times while John had gone back to kissing him, his own cock fucking Rodney's hand in nearly an identical rhythm. John's hand was underneath Rodney's shirt, and his face close against Rodney's neck, then Rodney was coming, hanging onto John and his throat locked tight against any further sound.
It took him a moment to rise to his feet, but he did, and was pulled into an embrace with John. John kissed him, and he returned it -- the hands on his back were both Rodney's and John's. Rodney was still jerking John off, and Carson reached down as well. He felt, rather than heard, John's groan as he came. They held him, and Carson caught a glimpse of Rodney's face, watching his lover. Carson tried to look away but there was nothing to see but the repair scroll in his head.
Then Rodney glanced at him and smiled, and John dropped his head forward, coming to rest with a light thump against both their foreheads. They were all leaning against each other, spent and quite disheveled.
"My room, and a drink?" John asked, and there was a softness in his voice Carson was shocked to hear.
"I may not need a drink any longer," Carson admitted. He reached down and pulled his trousers together and refastened them. He knew if he closed his eyes, he'd fall asleep propped up against the wall.
"My room, and a fuck?" John said, grinning.
Carson tried to catch his breath. He looked at Rodney, who simply smiled.
"Hey, Carson. Fancy a shag?"
He blinked. Then he laughed.
Rodney smiled, smugly, at John. "I think that's a yes."
"It's about time." John was still grinning, and Carson felt like he'd got himself caught. In what, he didn't know. His head was spinning and all he could think was that he didn't really remember why he'd intended to say no--
Oh. He did. He sobered quickly, and Rodney and John both frowned at him. He took a deep breath and tried to figure out how to say it.
"Was... We didn't--" Rodney cut himself off, and Carson could see guilt in his friend's eyes. Carson wanted to brush it away, but he thought maybe he was only going to make it worse.
At least they'd be able to walk away from this still friends, if he said it now.
"There's something I have to tell you."
"If you want to tell me you're gay, it's too late," Rodney joked. There was no humour in his voice, and he sent a worried glance at John, who simply shook his head.
"I... well, it's useless saying I don't want desperately to have sex with you. Both; either of you. We just had a rather vivid demonstration of that, I think."
"But?" John asked, when Carson didn't go on.
Carson couldn't look at him. Didn't want to look at Rodney, but he had to meet his eyes. "But this isn't about sex. Rodney--" He stopped, cursed once, very silently, then said, "I'm in love with you."
Rodney's eyes went wide, and his mouth dropped open.
And he didn't say a word.
Carson didn't hear anything from John, either, and was too afraid to look. "I meant it, when I said I wouldn't come between you, too. But... I can't have a casual affair with you. I shouldn't have done this, but... I suppose I wanted to pretend it would be all right if I did." He felt his throat closing up, and stopped trying to explain.
He took advantage of their lack of reaction, and stepped away. His arm brushed against Rodney's and he hurried another step past, knowing that he had to get as far, and as quickly, as he could.
He heard John say Rodney's name, but Rodney didn't respond. Carson walked faster. He reached the intersection without hearing anything more, then he was around the corner and down the hall.
John and Rodney just let him go.
***********
He stopped by his quarters to change clothes and clean himself off as best he could without a shower. He didn't want to stay here that long, afraid they'd come after him. He grabbed his tool-belt and left again, picking a hallway that led as far away from the gateroom and John's quarters and the hallway in-between them as possible.
He made a random, mental stab at the list of repairs and let it highlight itself. Wrong choice -- this was one in the jumper bay, right above the gateroom. He tried to order the repairs according to location in the city and found it rather hard to concentrate.
One item glowed red, and Carson looked at it. Not urgent, but far away and a sort of repair he'd done several times already.
"Thanks, Murdoc," he said softly, knowing he didn't have to speak aloud at all. But it seemed less frightening to talk to himself out loud than silently.
He found the nearest transporter and sent himself away to the triband section of the city. The team from Earth hadn't been here at all, but Carson had done so a few times. There was no danger here, but it was without power. Carson hadn't needed any more power than could be generated by the handheld generator he had in his toolkit -- an item he'd left two of with the scientists to play with and exclaim over. He didn't know if they'd decided on a use for them yet. The generators were too small to do much more than power small systems for a very short time -- just long enough to test repairs and see if they'd been done correctly.
But it kept them busy, and kept Dr. Weir from yelling at him for not sharing with them everything he learnt.
Carson didn't bother with a handlight as he made his way down the corridors. The map in his mind glowed, showing him the path as clearly as if he could see it with his own eyes. He thought it was no different than navigating with a starlight scope, and it was somehow more comforting to leave the lights off in a place that had seen no life at all for ten thousand years.
When he reached the control panel he'd come to fix -- environmental controls for the next section over -- he dropped his tool-belt and hooked up the generator. The panel powered up slightly, the only working circuits glowing with a soft yellow light. Enough to see his work, and determine just which parts were broken so Murdoc could tell him how to repair it.
For the next several hours he worked. Slowly and carefully, moving down the corridor from one panel to the next. He never noticed when lunchtime came and went, and only looked at the time an hour after dinner when his back told him he had to stand up and stretch or he'd never walk again.
Carson saw that he'd repaired five panels -- in an area of the city they wouldn't be using, so it really didn't matter if the environmental controls were sensitive enough to make it comfortable. He couldn't even turn them on beyond verifying they worked, because all the available power was routed to the areas of the city they lived in -- and to the shield, for now, to keep the tonnes of ocean at bay. They'd lowered Atlantis that morning before anyone had gone back to Earth, to ensure that everything was in working order and they'd have a city to come back to.
Carson suddenly realised that Dr. Weir had known he was staying. She'd not said a word as they'd lowered the city and double-checked all the systems. But she'd known, all the same.
That reminded him of his two guests. He couldn't hope to avoid them for long. For tonight, at least, and maybe well into the week if he left his quarters early and didn't get back 'til late. Eventually they'd run into each other, but Carson hoped that they would have agreed to pretend none of this had happened.
He gathered up his tools and switched off the handheld generator, standing still for a moment to let his eyes readjust to the darkness. Then he headed back home, already sorting through what tasks he could busy himself with tomorrow.
When he stepped into his quarters, he froze. Rodney was sitting on his bed.
Rodney tapped his earpiece and said into his radio, "John. He's here."
Carson dropped his belt on the floor and took a step forward. He got no farther before Rodney was on his feet.
"We didn't know where you'd gone, and we figured you'd have to come back here eventually -- or hide out in your office, which is where John's been as well as prowling around. We couldn't find you on the internal sensors which meant you went someplace where they don't work and what the HELL were you thinking by doing that? If you'd broken your leg or had a heart attack or released an alien bug how are we supposed to help you which, I might remind you, is part of the reason we're here!"
When Rodney paused, Carson wasn't sure it was safe to speak. But Rodney kept quiet, glaring at him as if to say he'd better have an apology and explanation ready.
"I'm sorry," he offered. "I wasn't in any trouble."
"Yes, well, thank you *so* much for letting us know. Or does that thing in your head also provide you with radio contact?"
Carson raised his hand to his ear, only then remembering he'd taken his earpiece off that morning. No one had been wearing them to return to Earth and he had seen no point in keeping his radio with him.
"I'm sorry," he said again, this time meaning it.
Rodney didn't look very much appeased. He tossed Carson's radio at him, and Carson caught it, juggling it for a second before hanging on. Carson didn't look up as he slipped it on -- not sure if there was any need to be in radio contact now, but afraid to try arguing about it.
"And don't you dare go into unexplored sections of the city -- not without backup, not without telling us, not without permission from someone who can assure you that it's safe!"
"I've not gone--"
"I don't care what that interface thing tells you! Unless it's been cleared by *us*, by a full contingent of trained military and scientific personnel who apparently can think more clearly than a medical doctor who doesn't know enough to not disappear in an alien city where *god* knows what could happen--"
He broke off as the door slid open, and John stepped inside. He stopped just inside the door, and folded his arms. Nodding, he said, "Go ahead. Sounds like you have it under control."
"I didn't--" Carson began, not really wanting to get chewed out with an audience. Not that he couldn't see why they thought it necessary.
It had been a stupid thing to do. Would have been, except he was pretty sure Murdoc would have notified them if he'd run into any trouble. He knew enough not to say so at the moment.
"You clear everything with us from now on, understand?" Rodney was almost shouting, and he'd drawn himself up -- Carson couldn't recall when he'd learnt to be in command, but he'd done so rather thoroughly.
He didn't like the idea of being under Rodney's orders -- but technically John was the one in command, here, and he knew John would only repeat exactly what Rodney was saying.
Sighing to himself, Carson nodded.
Rodney glared for another moment before nodding back, sharply. "All right, then. As long as we're clear."
"We're clear," Carson said, irritated at the heavy-handed way Rodney was ordering him about. "I didn't intend to worry you and I'll stay in the center of the city from now on. You don't have to shout at me like I were an idiot."
"I do have to shout and you ARE an idiot and you don't *get* it do you?" Rodney grabbed his arms -- and instead of shouting, or shaking him like Carson half-expected -- Rodney kissed him again, fast. He was breathing hard when he said, "You are *not* disappearing on me. Some ancient alien thing could come out of the walls and kill you without warning. You could fall down a stairwell and break your neck, or electrocute yourself because you don't know what you're doing, or a hundred other things I can't even begin to catalogue."
Rodney stopped, and swallowed. He didn't let go of Carson's arms.
Carson looked over at John, who rolled his eyes in what was, oddly enough, an affectionate gesture. John twirled his finger at his head, and grinned. Carson looked back at Rodney, who was only just seeming to pull himself together. He tried giving Rodney a kiss in return.
It wasn't at all about passion. Rodney opened his mouth and hung onto Carson's arms, and all he could feel was desperation. Carson brought his hands up, resting them on Rodney's arms, awkwardly since Rodney wasn't letting him go. His eyes were wide with fear when Carson leant back and looked at him.
He kissed Rodney once more, lightly on the lips. Then he nodded. "I won't go wandering off anymore," he promised.
"Good." Rodney's voice was shaking. "And now I want dinner, because I haven't eaten anything since noon because I didn't think we could catch you in the mess hall."
"I haven't eaten either," he admitted, and was amused when Rodney regained his composure -- taking Carson by the elbow and steering him back towards the door.
"Then that's where we're going."
Carson thought about pointing out he had some rations in his quarters -- but he didn't. He let Rodney lead him out, John falling in behind them. In his head, the maintenance list dimmed slightly.
the end
mice1900 for the beta! There is definitely a sequel intended, and for those on mailing lists, the version posted there is the fully betaed and polished version. No major changes, but it's a clean copy anyhow. (Also can be found on my website when it's updated.)CHAPTER SIX
"Come on," John said, starting again to walk away. He waggled a finger at them to encourage them to follow.
"Where are we going?" Carson asked, not moving.
"You said you wanted a drink, right? I have a bottle of fine Athosian booze in my room."
No. Oh, no. Carson shook his head. He *knew* he wasn't ready for that.
John stopped and rolled his eyes. "We are *not* going to get you drunk and seduce you."
"Oh, good," Carson breathed. That was good, right? Although having an excuse -- no. He wasn't going to go there. Well, he was, but -- No.
Maybe.
John was right. He needed a drink. He needed to *panic*. But a drink might serve the same purpose.
"Are you coming?" John asked, and Carson managed to follow him this time. Rodney walked along right beside him. As they headed out of the gateroom Carson found himself wondering if this gave him the right to stare at John's arse.
Not that he would. Or was. But it would clarify things a bit if he knew whether or not he could.
Wouldn't it? He glanced over at Rodney and found his friend already staring -- but he certainly was allowed, since he and John were already lovers. Not that Rodney couldn't have started before then, because who would date a person they didn't enjoy staring at bits of? Carson had no idea how to make himself stop babbling in his head. He called up the urgent repair section of the list and started reading, intently.
"Nice, isn't it?" Rodney asked, startling him. Carson blinked and realised that the section of the list he'd been staring at was superimposed right where he'd not intended to be staring.
"I wasn't -- I was looking at..." He gestured towards his temple. Rodney looked disappointed. Carson swallowed nervously, and tried to remember a time when he felt at all in control of his life. University?
Primary school?
"You don't think it's a nice ass?" Rodney asked.
"Oh, it is," he agreed, then bit his tongue. John grinned at them over his shoulder and Carson thought again about finding a hidden Ancient technology for vanishing through the floor.
"See? Progress, already," Rodney wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
"I'm not -- it isn't," Carson began. He had a sinking feeling he wasn't going to talk himself out of this -- not sure he wanted to, but he couldn't help but feel this was a horrible mistake. He stopped walking, and Rodney stuttered to a stop ahead of him, not quite letting go of Carson's shoulder.
"I'm sorry," Carson said.
Rodney frowned. "You -- we're just going to *talk*," he said.
But Carson shook his head. He knew what they were going to do. If not now, then certainly later. Unless he said 'no' right now. John came up beside them, and Carson noticed he had a rather intense look of his own.
"You know that's not what we're going to do," he said calmly. Calmly as he could pretend to be. His heart was pounding fast enough he was sure they could probably tell.
"You don't think it's a good idea?" John asked. He didn't sound...well, like anything. Carson couldn't read what he might be thinking.
"We're not going to make you do anything you don't want to do," Rodney said. "If you don't want to have sex -- it isn't like I'm going to carry you over my shoulder."
Carson started to nod, grateful that Rodney wasn't going to push this. He hoped they would go, and leave him be until he could face them with some semblance of composure.
"I am," John said. Before Carson could do anything more than gape at him, John was kissing him for a second time.
Carson couldn't even get a hand up to push him away -- possibly because his fingers had clawed their way around John's jacket and were holding on. This was very wrong, he tried to tell himself.
He couldn't remember why, exactly. But he knew he ought to be furious.
John broke the kiss but didn't move -- his face barely an inch away and his breath hot on Carson's face. Panting, and sounding not a little bit angry, as he said, "I don't care if you decide you don't *want* this. But if you say no because you do and think you shouldn't, I'm going to be very annoyed."
It would have been easier to say 'no' anyway if he weren't already hard. If John weren't pressed up against him, able to feel just how much he needed to say 'yes.' But he turned his head just enough to look at Rodney.
Who pushed his way in past John, and grabbed him. Gave him a second kiss of his own, and Carson thought he'd lost his mind when John had kissed him. He'd imagined Rodney gentle, full of care. Not this, shoving his tongue into Carson's mouth, demanding he make way for a kiss that seemed to sear the brain cells out of Carson's skull.
He could feel John's hand on his arm, still feel him pressed up against the left side of his body. Rodney was on the right, both of them pushing him back until he hit the wall. They held him there until Rodney let him go.
They both stepped back half a step. He had plenty of room to run.
All he wanted to do was drop his trousers and tell them to please get on with it. His hand twitched, but he stilled it because he *had* to keep hold of some sense. He tried to remember why, what his objection was. Something about... sex with them.
He groaned, and felt his hips jut forward. Rodney was there again, and this time his hand pressed down on Carson's cock. Carson shoved his hips forward, rubbing against Rodney's hand.
"Is that a yes?" John asked, his voice quiet despite the way he was staring at them -- as though as soon as Carson nodded, he'd tear off their clothes.
So he swallowed and nodded, and Rodney's hand had found its way into his trousers and was pulling them open. Carson let his head fall back, whimpering. John was there, one hand on Carson's face and kissing him -- rough, intense passion that would have made him come anyway, even without the way that Rodney's hand was pulling on him.
His arse was slamming into the wall as he shoved his hips forward and back, trying to fuck Rodney's hand and get more of John's mouth. His hands were tangled up in clothing - whose, had had no idea. Fingers were playing with the head of his cock, then sliding the foreskin down and jerking him off. John's teeth pulled at his lip and his tongue thrust into his mouth, and all Carson could find it in himself to do was hang on.
He tried to shout, or breathe, and his head hit the wall again. There was cool air on his lips as John let him go, and Rodney's mouth was there and a second hand was on his cock. Carson closed his eyes and shouted, hips jerking of their own accord as they brought him off.
They held him as he came, and afterwards he wanted to slide down the wall and collapse, but his arse was plastered flat against the cool metal of the bulkhead -- Rodney and John were there leaning against him, pressing him back. "I..." He tried to swallow, his throat too dry, suddenly, to make any more sound.
Rodney kissed him lightly and John nuzzled his neck. Carson shivered.
It occurred to him, quite clearly, that he ought return the favor. He could feel both men's erections against him, though neither of them was giving him any indication that they expected anything. From him -- he knew that if he left them to it, they'd turn to each other. Alone in the city and they were well used to making out in the hallways already.
Or he could do something he'd wanted to do for a very long time. Carson let himself sink to his knees, and he put his hand on Rodney's hip.
He heard a gasping noise, and thought there might have been words not-quite spoken. He opened Rodney's trousers, and thought that he had never, in all his time knowing the man -- living in close quarters in a variety of places -- seen him in less than pants and a T-shirt.
A hand landed on his shoulder; whose, he didn't know. He pulled Rodney's trousers and pants out of the way. Rodney was muttering something in a thin, desperate voice. Carson smiled, and opened his mouth.
He thought about teasing him. Kissing him lightly, licking ever so gently. Taking his time and making Rodney fair lose his mind over needing to come.
But Rodney had a way of getting even with pranksters. Besides, Carson didn't really want to draw this out. He sucked Rodney into his mouth and heard Rodney gasping. Carson pulled him in, not nearly as far as he could, but enough to get Rodney's cock well moistened. Rodney's voice was abruptly cut off and Carson pulled away, looking up to see John kissing Rodney quite thoroughly. Rodney's hand was working its way inside John's trousers and John was using one hand to assist him.
Carson bent his head back down. Took Rodney's cock once more and licked -- imagining what John's tongue was doing in Rodney's mouth, and mimicking it with his own. Rodney made a choked, panting noise and Carson kept going.
He sucked Rodney's cock in, and pulled his mouth away, hands holding onto Rodney's thighs. He could feel the muscles under his hands trembling. There was Rodney's voice again; he was whispering 'oh god' over and over, and Carson tried to get him louder. He sucked hard and Rodney cried out, echoed by a moan from John.
Pulling back, he teased Rodney with his tongue, knowing by the sound of it that John had taken Rodney's mouth again. He played with Rodney's cock, tasting him and focusing only on the feel of Rodney's cock in his mouth. Rodney's voice came and went, as John kissed him and broke away.
Carson heard Rodney say John's name -- then heard him say his own. Carson opened his mouth and pulled Rodney's cock in as far as he could. He heard Rodney gasp, a strangled sound that made Carson grow hard again. John's voice was there, distant as he pressed his mouth against Rodney's skin, saying words that only Rodney -- if anyone -- could hear.
One more moment, then Carson pulled completely away and wrapped his hand around Rodney's cock. Jerked him off two, three times while John had gone back to kissing him, his own cock fucking Rodney's hand in nearly an identical rhythm. John's hand was underneath Rodney's shirt, and his face close against Rodney's neck, then Rodney was coming, hanging onto John and his throat locked tight against any further sound.
It took him a moment to rise to his feet, but he did, and was pulled into an embrace with John. John kissed him, and he returned it -- the hands on his back were both Rodney's and John's. Rodney was still jerking John off, and Carson reached down as well. He felt, rather than heard, John's groan as he came. They held him, and Carson caught a glimpse of Rodney's face, watching his lover. Carson tried to look away but there was nothing to see but the repair scroll in his head.
Then Rodney glanced at him and smiled, and John dropped his head forward, coming to rest with a light thump against both their foreheads. They were all leaning against each other, spent and quite disheveled.
"My room, and a drink?" John asked, and there was a softness in his voice Carson was shocked to hear.
"I may not need a drink any longer," Carson admitted. He reached down and pulled his trousers together and refastened them. He knew if he closed his eyes, he'd fall asleep propped up against the wall.
"My room, and a fuck?" John said, grinning.
Carson tried to catch his breath. He looked at Rodney, who simply smiled.
"Hey, Carson. Fancy a shag?"
He blinked. Then he laughed.
Rodney smiled, smugly, at John. "I think that's a yes."
"It's about time." John was still grinning, and Carson felt like he'd got himself caught. In what, he didn't know. His head was spinning and all he could think was that he didn't really remember why he'd intended to say no--
Oh. He did. He sobered quickly, and Rodney and John both frowned at him. He took a deep breath and tried to figure out how to say it.
"Was... We didn't--" Rodney cut himself off, and Carson could see guilt in his friend's eyes. Carson wanted to brush it away, but he thought maybe he was only going to make it worse.
At least they'd be able to walk away from this still friends, if he said it now.
"There's something I have to tell you."
"If you want to tell me you're gay, it's too late," Rodney joked. There was no humour in his voice, and he sent a worried glance at John, who simply shook his head.
"I... well, it's useless saying I don't want desperately to have sex with you. Both; either of you. We just had a rather vivid demonstration of that, I think."
"But?" John asked, when Carson didn't go on.
Carson couldn't look at him. Didn't want to look at Rodney, but he had to meet his eyes. "But this isn't about sex. Rodney--" He stopped, cursed once, very silently, then said, "I'm in love with you."
Rodney's eyes went wide, and his mouth dropped open.
And he didn't say a word.
Carson didn't hear anything from John, either, and was too afraid to look. "I meant it, when I said I wouldn't come between you, too. But... I can't have a casual affair with you. I shouldn't have done this, but... I suppose I wanted to pretend it would be all right if I did." He felt his throat closing up, and stopped trying to explain.
He took advantage of their lack of reaction, and stepped away. His arm brushed against Rodney's and he hurried another step past, knowing that he had to get as far, and as quickly, as he could.
He heard John say Rodney's name, but Rodney didn't respond. Carson walked faster. He reached the intersection without hearing anything more, then he was around the corner and down the hall.
John and Rodney just let him go.
***********
He stopped by his quarters to change clothes and clean himself off as best he could without a shower. He didn't want to stay here that long, afraid they'd come after him. He grabbed his tool-belt and left again, picking a hallway that led as far away from the gateroom and John's quarters and the hallway in-between them as possible.
He made a random, mental stab at the list of repairs and let it highlight itself. Wrong choice -- this was one in the jumper bay, right above the gateroom. He tried to order the repairs according to location in the city and found it rather hard to concentrate.
One item glowed red, and Carson looked at it. Not urgent, but far away and a sort of repair he'd done several times already.
"Thanks, Murdoc," he said softly, knowing he didn't have to speak aloud at all. But it seemed less frightening to talk to himself out loud than silently.
He found the nearest transporter and sent himself away to the triband section of the city. The team from Earth hadn't been here at all, but Carson had done so a few times. There was no danger here, but it was without power. Carson hadn't needed any more power than could be generated by the handheld generator he had in his toolkit -- an item he'd left two of with the scientists to play with and exclaim over. He didn't know if they'd decided on a use for them yet. The generators were too small to do much more than power small systems for a very short time -- just long enough to test repairs and see if they'd been done correctly.
But it kept them busy, and kept Dr. Weir from yelling at him for not sharing with them everything he learnt.
Carson didn't bother with a handlight as he made his way down the corridors. The map in his mind glowed, showing him the path as clearly as if he could see it with his own eyes. He thought it was no different than navigating with a starlight scope, and it was somehow more comforting to leave the lights off in a place that had seen no life at all for ten thousand years.
When he reached the control panel he'd come to fix -- environmental controls for the next section over -- he dropped his tool-belt and hooked up the generator. The panel powered up slightly, the only working circuits glowing with a soft yellow light. Enough to see his work, and determine just which parts were broken so Murdoc could tell him how to repair it.
For the next several hours he worked. Slowly and carefully, moving down the corridor from one panel to the next. He never noticed when lunchtime came and went, and only looked at the time an hour after dinner when his back told him he had to stand up and stretch or he'd never walk again.
Carson saw that he'd repaired five panels -- in an area of the city they wouldn't be using, so it really didn't matter if the environmental controls were sensitive enough to make it comfortable. He couldn't even turn them on beyond verifying they worked, because all the available power was routed to the areas of the city they lived in -- and to the shield, for now, to keep the tonnes of ocean at bay. They'd lowered Atlantis that morning before anyone had gone back to Earth, to ensure that everything was in working order and they'd have a city to come back to.
Carson suddenly realised that Dr. Weir had known he was staying. She'd not said a word as they'd lowered the city and double-checked all the systems. But she'd known, all the same.
That reminded him of his two guests. He couldn't hope to avoid them for long. For tonight, at least, and maybe well into the week if he left his quarters early and didn't get back 'til late. Eventually they'd run into each other, but Carson hoped that they would have agreed to pretend none of this had happened.
He gathered up his tools and switched off the handheld generator, standing still for a moment to let his eyes readjust to the darkness. Then he headed back home, already sorting through what tasks he could busy himself with tomorrow.
When he stepped into his quarters, he froze. Rodney was sitting on his bed.
Rodney tapped his earpiece and said into his radio, "John. He's here."
Carson dropped his belt on the floor and took a step forward. He got no farther before Rodney was on his feet.
"We didn't know where you'd gone, and we figured you'd have to come back here eventually -- or hide out in your office, which is where John's been as well as prowling around. We couldn't find you on the internal sensors which meant you went someplace where they don't work and what the HELL were you thinking by doing that? If you'd broken your leg or had a heart attack or released an alien bug how are we supposed to help you which, I might remind you, is part of the reason we're here!"
When Rodney paused, Carson wasn't sure it was safe to speak. But Rodney kept quiet, glaring at him as if to say he'd better have an apology and explanation ready.
"I'm sorry," he offered. "I wasn't in any trouble."
"Yes, well, thank you *so* much for letting us know. Or does that thing in your head also provide you with radio contact?"
Carson raised his hand to his ear, only then remembering he'd taken his earpiece off that morning. No one had been wearing them to return to Earth and he had seen no point in keeping his radio with him.
"I'm sorry," he said again, this time meaning it.
Rodney didn't look very much appeased. He tossed Carson's radio at him, and Carson caught it, juggling it for a second before hanging on. Carson didn't look up as he slipped it on -- not sure if there was any need to be in radio contact now, but afraid to try arguing about it.
"And don't you dare go into unexplored sections of the city -- not without backup, not without telling us, not without permission from someone who can assure you that it's safe!"
"I've not gone--"
"I don't care what that interface thing tells you! Unless it's been cleared by *us*, by a full contingent of trained military and scientific personnel who apparently can think more clearly than a medical doctor who doesn't know enough to not disappear in an alien city where *god* knows what could happen--"
He broke off as the door slid open, and John stepped inside. He stopped just inside the door, and folded his arms. Nodding, he said, "Go ahead. Sounds like you have it under control."
"I didn't--" Carson began, not really wanting to get chewed out with an audience. Not that he couldn't see why they thought it necessary.
It had been a stupid thing to do. Would have been, except he was pretty sure Murdoc would have notified them if he'd run into any trouble. He knew enough not to say so at the moment.
"You clear everything with us from now on, understand?" Rodney was almost shouting, and he'd drawn himself up -- Carson couldn't recall when he'd learnt to be in command, but he'd done so rather thoroughly.
He didn't like the idea of being under Rodney's orders -- but technically John was the one in command, here, and he knew John would only repeat exactly what Rodney was saying.
Sighing to himself, Carson nodded.
Rodney glared for another moment before nodding back, sharply. "All right, then. As long as we're clear."
"We're clear," Carson said, irritated at the heavy-handed way Rodney was ordering him about. "I didn't intend to worry you and I'll stay in the center of the city from now on. You don't have to shout at me like I were an idiot."
"I do have to shout and you ARE an idiot and you don't *get* it do you?" Rodney grabbed his arms -- and instead of shouting, or shaking him like Carson half-expected -- Rodney kissed him again, fast. He was breathing hard when he said, "You are *not* disappearing on me. Some ancient alien thing could come out of the walls and kill you without warning. You could fall down a stairwell and break your neck, or electrocute yourself because you don't know what you're doing, or a hundred other things I can't even begin to catalogue."
Rodney stopped, and swallowed. He didn't let go of Carson's arms.
Carson looked over at John, who rolled his eyes in what was, oddly enough, an affectionate gesture. John twirled his finger at his head, and grinned. Carson looked back at Rodney, who was only just seeming to pull himself together. He tried giving Rodney a kiss in return.
It wasn't at all about passion. Rodney opened his mouth and hung onto Carson's arms, and all he could feel was desperation. Carson brought his hands up, resting them on Rodney's arms, awkwardly since Rodney wasn't letting him go. His eyes were wide with fear when Carson leant back and looked at him.
He kissed Rodney once more, lightly on the lips. Then he nodded. "I won't go wandering off anymore," he promised.
"Good." Rodney's voice was shaking. "And now I want dinner, because I haven't eaten anything since noon because I didn't think we could catch you in the mess hall."
"I haven't eaten either," he admitted, and was amused when Rodney regained his composure -- taking Carson by the elbow and steering him back towards the door.
"Then that's where we're going."
Carson thought about pointing out he had some rations in his quarters -- but he didn't. He let Rodney lead him out, John falling in behind them. In his head, the maintenance list dimmed slightly.
the end