Not a Lending Library, 1/1
Jul. 18th, 2011 05:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gilascaveTitle: Not a Lending Library
Author: james
Rated: G, gen
Word Count: 1,600
Fandoms: Leverage, Buffy tVS
Disclaimers: not mine, no profit made
Summary: Eliot has run into Alex before off and on through the years. That doesn't mean he doesn't think Alex is crazy. And Parker just wants to steal a book.
Notes: for iiyorinn
Parker frowned as she walked beside Eliot up the long curving driveway towards what could only be described as a house with delusions of mansion-grandeur. It was the latest incarnation of the boarding school Eliot's contact worked for, a boarding school for girls with special needs, though Eliot had never figured out what those special needs were. He glanced at Parker as she complained, "I don't see why I can't just break in and steal it."
Eliot sighed, considering and discarding half a dozen ways of explaining the situation to her. Finally he said, "It belongs to a guy I know, so we can just walk up and ask to borrow it. We don't have to steal it."
"Nate said we could steal it," she pointed out, and Eliot didn't have to look over to know she was pouting. It was a good thing Hardison wasn't along, Eliot told himself. The man had become a complete wuss when it came to standing up to Parker's pouts. Not that it would have led to them actually breaking in to steal what they were after, but it would have made for a very annoying argument, trying to convince both Parker and Hardison that they weren't going to be stealing anything.
"We don't have to steal it," Eliot said again, glancing around the grounds and the windows for any sign of, well, anything. Mostly habit, but it was also sound policy not to drop his guard - ever. Especially not when he was on a job, and most especially not when he was about to pay a visit to a guy who called global apocalypses 'the worst part about Thursdays.'
Parker folded her arms and Eliot could see, out of the corner of his eye, a rather impressive sulk. "Then why did he send me along?" she demanded. "If we're just going to ask for it, why not just send you? Or Sophie? Or Nate could have just called them up and asked them to send it over and we could go do something fun. Like stealing."
Eliot just rubbed his face with one hand, and hurried up the steps towards the front door. He knocked twice, then turned to Parker. "What if I ask him if we can borrow it, and then you steal it?"
She rolled her eyes. "It's not stealing if you have permission."
"Fine," Eliot snapped. "What if I ask if we can borrow it, but only on the condition you can break in and steal it under twenty minutes?"
Parker perked up, then quickly narrowed her eyes. "I don't need twenty minutes. You saw the blueprints Hardison showed us of the house. There's no security to speak of. I'd only need twenty minutes if I fell asleep on the roof for fifteen."
Eliot smiled. "You'll need twenty minutes." The door swung open, and Eliot was glad to see Alex was the one who'd answered the door. He didn't think Alex was really his real name -- the house was registered as being owned by Jesse McNally, but Eliot didn't think that was the guy's real name, either. But he was mostly glad it hadn't been any of the girls answering the door. Once before Eliot had accompanied Alex back to the school and Eliot had spent two days surrounded by girls of all ages and all languages, asking him if he wanted to spar with them.
Eliot had no idea what they'd meant by that -- some of the girls were too young to mean that. But he'd escaped with his dignity and sanity intact, and Alex had only laughed when he'd said he was never going back.
The first time they'd met was in North Sudan. Eliot had been running from a crew of imported mercenaries, leading them on a wild goose chase so he could double back and retrieve a stolen set of journals. Alex -- hadn't ever really said why he was there, mumbling something about chasing a girl and getting himself eaten by monsters. But they'd given each other a hand, parted ways a few days later, and Eliot had managed to run into him again several times over the intervening ten years.
Right now Alex was giving him a questioning look, nodding in welcome but not exactly inviting them inside, either. Alex glanced at Parker and his eyes widened, briefly. "Hey, are you-- no, she would have told us if we were getting a new one today. Sorry, hi," he said, giving Eliot another nod and stepping backwards. After a moment and a piercingly suspicious look, Parker stepped inside. Eliot noted how Alex relaxed when she entered, and he shook his head and followed her in.
It was obvious Alex was still suffering under some very weird delusions. Eliot had met some strange people in his day -- witness his co-worker standing right beside him. And he'd met people who insisted that vampires and werewolves and all that crap were real, but generally those sort were emo teenagers and vampire-wannabes, who thought it would be romantic to drink blood and never die.
But Alex, the third time they'd crossed paths, had told him about a vampire he'd been trailing and how he was looking for a ten year old girl who was supposed to be learning how to hunt them. He'd been serious, and hadn't seemed to mind when Eliot had called him a lunatic who needed therapy. When they'd crossed paths again, Alex had just shrugged off Eliot's questions and they'd settled into a odd sort of routine where they met on accident, traveled and fought together for a few days, then parted ways.
Eliot had never even learned Alex' last name, and Alex hadn't ever asked him his own, either.
As Alex looked at them both, Eliot figured there would be a few questions for this one. He shrugged and cut to the chase. "Nate needs to use a book as bait for our mark. I remember helping you steal it back from a guy three years ago and I was hoping you still had it. Some long Latin name, about mermaids and sirens." Eliot knew what it was called, but he'd tried to pronounce it once and Sophie had spent the next half hour trying to correct his accent. He'd pointed out more than once that Latin was a dead language but she'd insisted it should be enough like Italian that he was saying his Rs and Es wrong. He wasn't going through that same thing with Alex, who he knew could read Latin fluently.
Alex smiled. "When you consider what's in my library, that doesn't actually narrow it down. But I remember it. Luckily for you, it isn't one of the Forbidden Texts." He waggled his eyebrows as he said it, and Eliot had been hanging around Hardison long enough to recognise the reference to Harry Potter.
"You're gonna try telling me magic is real, too, aren't you?" Eliot sighed.
Alex shrugged. "Why would I do a thing like that? Let's go find Willow and see if she knows where in the library the book is." He started to head off down the hallway.
"You said I could steal it," Parker hissed at him behind Alex' back. "You said I'd need twenty minutes, and that I could steal it."
Eliot tried to shush her, then said to Alex as he turned back around, "Sorry, man, I did. Please do not ask," he added, as Alex started to open his mouth. Then he looked at Parker. "All right, you saw the picture of it. It's in the library. Alex and I will wait here while you go steal it."
Parker took one step down the hallway, but gave him a suspicious look. Eliot just waved her on, and finally she turned and ran down the hallway. Eliot knew she'd have a pretty good idea of where the library would be, based on the blueprints they'd seen of the house when it had been purchased by 'Jesse.'
As she vanished around a corner, heading for a flight of stairs, Alex asked, "So, why exactly is it going to take her twenty minutes to find the book?"
"It's gonna take her two and a half minutes to find the library," Eliot said. "Then another seventeen minutes to remember what she came there to steal." He smirked. "I've seen your place before, remember? There's a safe or hidden passageway behind just about every single thing hanging on the walls up there. Parker's gonna be lucky to remember she came for some dusty old book at all."
"So...should we...help? Or go grab a beer and sandwiches and wait in the kitchen?"
Eliot elbowed him aside and headed for the kitchen. "I'm not letting you make the sandwiches."
"Hey! I'll have you know I am an expert sandwich-maker!"
"That crap you made is not a sandwich! It had pickles and Captain Crunch cereal on it." Eliot shuddered. He thought about introducing Alex to Hardison -- for one very brief moment. Then he realised he'd be stuck with both of them doing things like eating gummi worms and pretzels for breakfast.
As he walked into the kitchen, they heard a clang and a high-pitched squeal from upstairs. They both paused, then when there was no other sound, Eliot just opened the fridge and took a look inside.
"If there's trouble, there would still be screaming," Alex explained, unnecessarily. He reached past Eliot and grabbed a jar of mayo. Eliot snagged it out of his hand and put it back.
"Sit in the fucking chair and don't interfere."
Alex gave him a half-salute, sat down, and Eliot turned his attention to figuring out what, if anything, he could make out of the contents of Alex' fridge.
He decided to pretend he didn't see the water bottles filled with blood.
the end
Author: james
Rated: G, gen
Word Count: 1,600
Fandoms: Leverage, Buffy tVS
Disclaimers: not mine, no profit made
Summary: Eliot has run into Alex before off and on through the years. That doesn't mean he doesn't think Alex is crazy. And Parker just wants to steal a book.
Notes: for iiyorinn
Parker frowned as she walked beside Eliot up the long curving driveway towards what could only be described as a house with delusions of mansion-grandeur. It was the latest incarnation of the boarding school Eliot's contact worked for, a boarding school for girls with special needs, though Eliot had never figured out what those special needs were. He glanced at Parker as she complained, "I don't see why I can't just break in and steal it."
Eliot sighed, considering and discarding half a dozen ways of explaining the situation to her. Finally he said, "It belongs to a guy I know, so we can just walk up and ask to borrow it. We don't have to steal it."
"Nate said we could steal it," she pointed out, and Eliot didn't have to look over to know she was pouting. It was a good thing Hardison wasn't along, Eliot told himself. The man had become a complete wuss when it came to standing up to Parker's pouts. Not that it would have led to them actually breaking in to steal what they were after, but it would have made for a very annoying argument, trying to convince both Parker and Hardison that they weren't going to be stealing anything.
"We don't have to steal it," Eliot said again, glancing around the grounds and the windows for any sign of, well, anything. Mostly habit, but it was also sound policy not to drop his guard - ever. Especially not when he was on a job, and most especially not when he was about to pay a visit to a guy who called global apocalypses 'the worst part about Thursdays.'
Parker folded her arms and Eliot could see, out of the corner of his eye, a rather impressive sulk. "Then why did he send me along?" she demanded. "If we're just going to ask for it, why not just send you? Or Sophie? Or Nate could have just called them up and asked them to send it over and we could go do something fun. Like stealing."
Eliot just rubbed his face with one hand, and hurried up the steps towards the front door. He knocked twice, then turned to Parker. "What if I ask him if we can borrow it, and then you steal it?"
She rolled her eyes. "It's not stealing if you have permission."
"Fine," Eliot snapped. "What if I ask if we can borrow it, but only on the condition you can break in and steal it under twenty minutes?"
Parker perked up, then quickly narrowed her eyes. "I don't need twenty minutes. You saw the blueprints Hardison showed us of the house. There's no security to speak of. I'd only need twenty minutes if I fell asleep on the roof for fifteen."
Eliot smiled. "You'll need twenty minutes." The door swung open, and Eliot was glad to see Alex was the one who'd answered the door. He didn't think Alex was really his real name -- the house was registered as being owned by Jesse McNally, but Eliot didn't think that was the guy's real name, either. But he was mostly glad it hadn't been any of the girls answering the door. Once before Eliot had accompanied Alex back to the school and Eliot had spent two days surrounded by girls of all ages and all languages, asking him if he wanted to spar with them.
Eliot had no idea what they'd meant by that -- some of the girls were too young to mean that. But he'd escaped with his dignity and sanity intact, and Alex had only laughed when he'd said he was never going back.
The first time they'd met was in North Sudan. Eliot had been running from a crew of imported mercenaries, leading them on a wild goose chase so he could double back and retrieve a stolen set of journals. Alex -- hadn't ever really said why he was there, mumbling something about chasing a girl and getting himself eaten by monsters. But they'd given each other a hand, parted ways a few days later, and Eliot had managed to run into him again several times over the intervening ten years.
Right now Alex was giving him a questioning look, nodding in welcome but not exactly inviting them inside, either. Alex glanced at Parker and his eyes widened, briefly. "Hey, are you-- no, she would have told us if we were getting a new one today. Sorry, hi," he said, giving Eliot another nod and stepping backwards. After a moment and a piercingly suspicious look, Parker stepped inside. Eliot noted how Alex relaxed when she entered, and he shook his head and followed her in.
It was obvious Alex was still suffering under some very weird delusions. Eliot had met some strange people in his day -- witness his co-worker standing right beside him. And he'd met people who insisted that vampires and werewolves and all that crap were real, but generally those sort were emo teenagers and vampire-wannabes, who thought it would be romantic to drink blood and never die.
But Alex, the third time they'd crossed paths, had told him about a vampire he'd been trailing and how he was looking for a ten year old girl who was supposed to be learning how to hunt them. He'd been serious, and hadn't seemed to mind when Eliot had called him a lunatic who needed therapy. When they'd crossed paths again, Alex had just shrugged off Eliot's questions and they'd settled into a odd sort of routine where they met on accident, traveled and fought together for a few days, then parted ways.
Eliot had never even learned Alex' last name, and Alex hadn't ever asked him his own, either.
As Alex looked at them both, Eliot figured there would be a few questions for this one. He shrugged and cut to the chase. "Nate needs to use a book as bait for our mark. I remember helping you steal it back from a guy three years ago and I was hoping you still had it. Some long Latin name, about mermaids and sirens." Eliot knew what it was called, but he'd tried to pronounce it once and Sophie had spent the next half hour trying to correct his accent. He'd pointed out more than once that Latin was a dead language but she'd insisted it should be enough like Italian that he was saying his Rs and Es wrong. He wasn't going through that same thing with Alex, who he knew could read Latin fluently.
Alex smiled. "When you consider what's in my library, that doesn't actually narrow it down. But I remember it. Luckily for you, it isn't one of the Forbidden Texts." He waggled his eyebrows as he said it, and Eliot had been hanging around Hardison long enough to recognise the reference to Harry Potter.
"You're gonna try telling me magic is real, too, aren't you?" Eliot sighed.
Alex shrugged. "Why would I do a thing like that? Let's go find Willow and see if she knows where in the library the book is." He started to head off down the hallway.
"You said I could steal it," Parker hissed at him behind Alex' back. "You said I'd need twenty minutes, and that I could steal it."
Eliot tried to shush her, then said to Alex as he turned back around, "Sorry, man, I did. Please do not ask," he added, as Alex started to open his mouth. Then he looked at Parker. "All right, you saw the picture of it. It's in the library. Alex and I will wait here while you go steal it."
Parker took one step down the hallway, but gave him a suspicious look. Eliot just waved her on, and finally she turned and ran down the hallway. Eliot knew she'd have a pretty good idea of where the library would be, based on the blueprints they'd seen of the house when it had been purchased by 'Jesse.'
As she vanished around a corner, heading for a flight of stairs, Alex asked, "So, why exactly is it going to take her twenty minutes to find the book?"
"It's gonna take her two and a half minutes to find the library," Eliot said. "Then another seventeen minutes to remember what she came there to steal." He smirked. "I've seen your place before, remember? There's a safe or hidden passageway behind just about every single thing hanging on the walls up there. Parker's gonna be lucky to remember she came for some dusty old book at all."
"So...should we...help? Or go grab a beer and sandwiches and wait in the kitchen?"
Eliot elbowed him aside and headed for the kitchen. "I'm not letting you make the sandwiches."
"Hey! I'll have you know I am an expert sandwich-maker!"
"That crap you made is not a sandwich! It had pickles and Captain Crunch cereal on it." Eliot shuddered. He thought about introducing Alex to Hardison -- for one very brief moment. Then he realised he'd be stuck with both of them doing things like eating gummi worms and pretzels for breakfast.
As he walked into the kitchen, they heard a clang and a high-pitched squeal from upstairs. They both paused, then when there was no other sound, Eliot just opened the fridge and took a look inside.
"If there's trouble, there would still be screaming," Alex explained, unnecessarily. He reached past Eliot and grabbed a jar of mayo. Eliot snagged it out of his hand and put it back.
"Sit in the fucking chair and don't interfere."
Alex gave him a half-salute, sat down, and Eliot turned his attention to figuring out what, if anything, he could make out of the contents of Alex' fridge.
He decided to pretend he didn't see the water bottles filled with blood.
the end