FIC: RPS, Supernatural, 1/1
Jan. 28th, 2007 08:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gilascaveTitle: Baby, You Can Drive My Car
Author: James
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Disclaimer: not mine, no profit made, not intended to be taken as real
Summary: Jensen wants Jared, but won't do anything about it.
Notes: written for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
j2_otpathon. My prompts were: Jsquared, in/on the Impala, and bodyswap.
There were a lot of weird and funky -- and simply annoying -- things Jensen had to deal with as an actor, as an American living in Canada, as a pretty face, and as a guy. He'd pretty much learned how to deal with most of them just out of sheer necessity -- but the one thing he still hadn't figured out how to deal with were the unrequited crushes his stupid head insisted on giving him.
Normally it was no big deal, he could always fake it until he got over it. But once in a while he'd fall for someone he couldn't get away from and that's when life really sucked.
He didn't figure he could really be blamed for falling for Jared. Everyone who knew him liked him at least a little -- unless they had eyes and a brain, in which case they liked him a lot.
But Jensen knew one definite thing about unrequited crushes, and that was to keep his mouth shut. Nothing worse than mooning over someone than to let them know you're mooning. Sympathetic and awkward didn't even begin to cover it.
At first he told himself to ignore it until it went away. Then he told himself to ignore it because it wasn't going away. Eventually he ended up here: alone at home, too late at night to be awake, and nursing yet another beer and telling himself that the only thing worse than dealing with Jared all day, was not seeing him at all.
Even half-drunk, he knew that was just one more indicator of the sad state of affairs in his head. But he was alone, and there were enough empty beer bottles in front of him that he could think shit like that without feeling entirely stupid. Sighing, he leaned back on the couch and put his feet on the table and thought about him.
Fourteen hours of Jared on the set today, twelve more hours or more tomorrow, then the weekend and maybe a few Jared-free hours here and there. Another swallow of beer and he could tell himself he didn't know if that was a good thing or not.
Fucking morose, he told himself bitterly, because he wasn't drunk enough not to be sick of his own attitude. Couldn't help himself, though, taking another drink and finding himself just wanting...what? To call Jared, bullshit for a few minutes before going to bed? Stay up all night again looking forward to getting to the set early, just to see what stupid thing Jared had found in his closet to wear?
To crawl into his own bed and think about how he would fill up Jensen's bed, cover him from head to toe and how he would smell, how he would sound-- Jensen cut himself off, because indulging in that line of thought never helped.
He couldn't ever stop himself, but it never helped. Already he was halfway down into his usual fantasy, that he'd just said...something, clever and sincere and made Jared smile at him like that and say "Yeah, man, that sounds like a great idea." Then Jensen kisses him, or maybe Jared kisses him first, and there's a long time with nothing but Jared's mouth and Jared's tongue and Jared's hands framing Jensen's face because he's seen Jared kiss, watched him every chance he has, torturing himself and wishing.
Jensen took another swallow of his beer and tried not to remember how Jared had laughed, just that afternoon, at something Jensen had said. Nearly bent in half until Jensen was afraid he'd fall over, and now Jensen couldn't remember exactly what he'd said. Lost in the sound of Jared's laughter.
He finished the beer and set it alongside the rest of the empties, and tried to decide if he'd had enough. Standing up and walking to the kitchen was still easy, so clearly he could have one more. Jensen grabbed a bottle from the fridge, reminded himself to hit the store if he wanted to get drunk again tomorrow.
He carried the beer through the apartment into the bedroom, setting it on the nightstand as he kicked off his shoes. The room was a mess, dirty laundry still laying wherever he'd dropped it, bed unmade and magazines littering the foot of it. He shucked his jeans, then quickly drank half the beer. Jensen kicked at the clutter as he slid into bed, then one more swallow of beer and he flipped off the lamp by the bed.
Rolling onto his stomach, he buried his head in the pillow and thought about a warm, heavy weight at his side and whether or not Jared was the type to steal blankets.
~~~
The next night was little better. Jensen had been released early; the remaining scenes for the day were just Jared and Missy, the week's damsel in distress. Sam was driving the woman out of town for... Jensen didn't really remember. Something with Dean out of the picture, so Jensen had an early night. He'd stopped at the store and refilled his supply of beer and frozen dinners -- and bags of salad, because indulgent he might be but he wasn't entirely stupid. He knew where his paychecks came from and they didn't come from pizzas and beer.
He threw himself down on the couch in nearly the same position as the night before -- and the night before that, and several nights the week before. He stared at the bookshelves covered in things he hadn't read but meant to someday, and gifts from well-meaning relatives, and a single shelf of paperbacks that he actually enjoyed.
He thought about grabbing one, just for a little variety from drinking beer and moping about things he couldn't have. Still too early in the evening for that, and Jensen half-heartedly thought about a dozen things he could be doing.
Then he thought about Jared, sitting in the driver's seat of the Impala, making small talk with Missy and Greg and Derek. Idly he wondered how many times they'd re-shoot, and whether Jensen should start sending Jared text messages to distract him.
Closing his eyes, it was easy to summon up how it felt, sitting in the car. The bench seats, cold at first but warmed up nicely after an hour of sitting on your ass waiting for the sound guys to give the all-clear. Easy enough to imagine it was him and Jared, because fuck if they hadn't been stuck there a thousand times before. The feel of the steering wheel that Jensen could never really quit playing with -- enough that Jared teased him about fondling the car between takes. Better, Jensen knew, to play with the steering wheel than find himself reaching over and doing something that would get him into more trouble than he needed.
Sometimes he just wanted to touch, ached with it, and Jensen let his head fall back, wishing it could be so easy. A light touch on Jared's arm, maybe feeling Jared's hand on his, squeezing back, warming and inviting. A smile, a little bit of that laugh that said he was glad, relieved that Jensen had finally done this. Hear his voice saying his name....
"Jensen's a great guy," Jared said, voice loud in Jensen's ear. There was a noise, a woman's voice making a sound that, to Jensen, sounded just the slightest bit bored.
Which didn't make a whole lot of sense because Jensen was sitting in his living room, getting drunk and being pathetic. He opened his eyes and nearly fell over from the disorientation.
He was sitting on the ground. Could see ground and people's legs and the bottom half of everything he was used to seeing on set. Could still hear Jared talking inside his head, and....
Jensen blinked and heard someone yell, "Cut out the headlights, Jared!"
Jared yelled something back, and Jensen could still hear Jared inside his head, and now that he thought about it he could feel Jared's hands. Warm, loose grip caressing, and Jensen thought there was a shiver down his spine only, really, he had no fucking clue where his spine was.
He had a pretty good idea where his hands were, though, and he tried to push himself upright.
Only he didn't move. He tried to kick his feet, and they didn't move either. He opened his mouth to ask Jared what the fuck was going on in this dream, and all he heard was the roar of the Impala's engine.
Oh, fuck.
Someone yelled at Jared again, and Jensen heard Jared muttering something about the key not even turned, and Jensen wanted to tell Jared he knew what was going on except he was pretty sure, last time he looked, the car didn't have a voice box.
There was a giggle, and Missy said, "I just love that sound. My daddy had a muscle car, I used to sit out in the garage and watch him work on it."
Jensen would have completely ignored her because hey, freaky ass dream to deal with, except for the way she was sliding over towards Jared. The flirting tone hadn't been lost on him, either, and Jensen wondered just how fucked up his subconscious was to give him a dream about Jared hitting it off with some girl.
Then again, dreaming that he was the Impala was pretty fucked up, anyway.
He listened as Jared's interest was apparently peaked by the mention of the car, and for several minutes they talked -- details Jensen hadn't realised he'd picked up from Jared, but obviously he had. Makes and models and engine parts, and Jared was talking mile a minute with Missy just sitting there, egging him on. Sliding closer again, and Jensen thought how weird that he could feel her moving inside of him -- without even being crude about it -- and how he could feel Jared's weight on the seat, pressing down against Jensen. Jared's arm was resting across the back of the seat as he turned slightly towards Missy, and his fingers lightly touched Jensen's skin. Upholstery. Whatever.
He heard his name and Jensen listened more closely, and realised Jared was talking about him again.
"Jensen's eyes usually roll back when I get this far," Jared was saying. "He isn't quite as big a car buff as I am."
"Oh, I love a car guy," Missy replied, leaning a little closer, and Jensen thought that if she tried anything while he was sitting right there, he was going to....
Well, nothing. Wasn't like Jared needed protecting. Not like Jensen had any business cock-clocking him. Not like he wasn't a car and what could he do about it anyway?
There was a laugh from Jared and Jensen sighed quietly. Jared's hands running across the back of the seat and more shivers down...well, Jensen's frame. Something had to count as a spine, he told himself. Whatever was tingling at the way Jared was touching him probably came close.
He realised Jared had just said his name again, and Missy responded with, "Well, he doesn't know what he's missing, then." She leaned in closer, and Jensen suddenly wished this dream was over, dammit, of all the things he didn't want to listen to was Jared and some weekly damsel.
Jensen felt her scoot over the last few inches, then he could feel Jared moving towards her. Missy was saying something about cars, and guys, and Jensen squeezed his eyes shut at the word 'hot' and he just wanted desperately to be awake and on his couch and not thinking about Jared.
There was a sudden burst of music -- Jared's ringtone. Jensen found himself relaxing at the interruption, not caring who the hell had sent Jared a text but willing to do anything they asked to thank them for it.
"Sorry, let me just," Jared was saying, and Jensen could feel him leaning away from Missy as he pulled out his phone. Jensen could hear the flip of the phone, then Jared laughed a little. There was the soft press of buttons, then silence as Jared read his message.
The silence lasted, and Missy was scooting around restlessly, and Jared still wasn't saying anything.
Someone thumped the top of Jensen's head and then Derek was saying they were ready, and Jensen heard Jared answering, sounding distracted.
Jensen opened his eyes and found himself in his living room. His head ached, and he set the bottle of beer down on the coffee table. His phone was sitting there and Jensen frowned.
What he wanted right then was a couple aspirin, a gallon of water, and sleep for a week. He pushed himself up -- glad to find he had hands again, and feet, and a human body all over except possibly for his head. He laughed, thinking that tomorrow he'd tell Jared about the freaky dream and Jared would probably tease him about it for the rest of the year.
Jensen stumbled into the bathroom, took a piss, then grabbed the aspirin and a glass of water, then pushed himself towards the bed. He tripped over the magazines on the floor, lost one shoe near the bed and the other he'd apparently lost somewhere else. He stripped down to his t-shirt and underwear and thought once again about seriously doing some laundry. Soon. Should have done it tonight, but all Jensen wanted was to go to sleep.
His head was still pounding as he fell asleep, curled under the sheets and dreaming of Jared.
~~~
It was pitch black when he opened his eyes, heart beating fast and so groggy and confused that he couldn't even figure out why he was sitting up. There was a knocking sound, and Jensen realised that had been what had woken him. He thought about ignoring it, but there weren't that many people who knocked on his door on a workday night.
He shoved himself sideways, looked at the clock and tried to figure out what 10:05 meant. Had he overslept, missed the six am call? Was that why the knocking sounded so pissed? Jensen stumbled towards the bedroom door and took in the fact it was dark.
Night time, he realised, halfway down the hallway to the front door. He was fine, hadn't overslept. He got to the door and opened it, blinking in confusion when he saw Jared.
"Uh?"
"Can I come in?" Jared looked nervous, and Jensen just stepped backwards. Jared took it as an invitation, and moved past him. He stood there as Jensen closed and re-locked the door, and when Jensen turned around he found Jared staring at him intently.
"Uh?" he asked again, rubbing at his head.
"Are you drunk?"
Jensen nodded, then shook his head. "Maybe?" he said, because he couldn't remember how many beers he'd had, but he was usually drunk at this time of night so chances were, yeah, he was.
Jared seemed to be thinking this over. Jensen wanted to tell him to make himself at home so Jensen could just go back to bed. Whatever he wanted, Jared could deal with alone.
Except what Jared apparently wanted was to push Jensen against the wall and kiss him.
Jensen found himself wide awake, noticeably not-drunk, and extremely confused. Didn't stop him from kissing Jared back, or from putting his hands on Jared's waist, or from moaning softly when Jared's tongue flicked against his lips.
Jared pulled back without moving away, keeping Jensen trapped against the wall. "You meant it, right?" Jared asked, and he sounded hopeful, and just a little bit uncertain.
"What?" Jensen focused on him, tried not to think about the way his cock was getting hard, pressed up against Jared's thigh. Jared seemed to notice it, as well, because the sly smile that appeared was one Jensen had seen quite often.
Never directed at him outside his dreams.
Jared put one hand on Jensen's cheek, and damn, but it was just as warm as Jensen had imagined. The touch of his fingers stroking just like the feel of his hand on the steering wheel in Jensen's dream.
"I love you, too," Jared said, and Jensen's brain gave a little stutter-stop, then it stopped completely because Jared was kissing him again, and Jensen could feel a promising hardness against his own thigh.
Thinking could wait, he told himself. He tugged at Jared, pulling him closer and losing himself in the kiss.
~~~
The next morning was slow, but brief kisses and total lack of awkward what the hell -- Jensen's head was still pounding and they'd woken up with barely enough time to shower and get to work, so awkward had been shoved into the back seat for later. Jensen had hurried around trying to get coffee made while Jared pawed through Jensen's closet for something he could steal. No jeans that would fit, of course, but a shirt and a clean pair of shorts -- Jensen wanted to know where Jared had found clean clothes in Jensen's wardrobe, but decided silence was the better part of valor.
The morning was light enough for Jensen to see just how many empty beer bottles were littering the living room, and he didn't try to tell Jared that they were a week's worth and not all from last night. He ignored the dirty dishes and the random crap scattered everywhere, and said something about cleaning up before next time that made Jared smile.
They shared a ride to the set; Jared was full of shy smiles and contented laughter, and Jensen found himself wondering when the hell he was going to wake up for real. When they got to the set, Jared said, "I'm going to hold this over your head, you know. Drunk or not, this was pretty damn sappy." He was grinning as he said it, and Jensen had no clue what he was talking about.
Jared opened his phone and dialed into his inbox, then held up the phone for Jensen to see. A message from his own phone, and Jared scrolled down for Jensen to read.
I should have told you this a long time ago. I hope I'm not too late, telling you now, but I've been in love with you for a long time. And it isn't going away -- this is the real thing, and I just had to let you know."
Jensen stared at it, because even drunk, that didn't sound like him at all. Clearly it had been, but Jensen didn't remember sending it.
Jared was still grinning at him, and Jensen just rolled his eyes. "Man, I was drunk, give me a break."
Jared just laughed again, and when Jensen took a side-step towards him, Jared bumped his hip and grinned.
Later, when they were getting ready to shoot, Jensen found himself walking past one of the Impalas. He trailed a hand down her side, and he felt the answering rumble of the engine.
Jensen froze, for just a second, then Jared was there and whispering in his ear and Jensen had barely enough time to think thank you before Jared was dragging him away.
the end
Author: James
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Disclaimer: not mine, no profit made, not intended to be taken as real
Summary: Jensen wants Jared, but won't do anything about it.
Notes: written for the
j2_otpathon. My prompts were: Jsquared, in/on the Impala, and bodyswap.There were a lot of weird and funky -- and simply annoying -- things Jensen had to deal with as an actor, as an American living in Canada, as a pretty face, and as a guy. He'd pretty much learned how to deal with most of them just out of sheer necessity -- but the one thing he still hadn't figured out how to deal with were the unrequited crushes his stupid head insisted on giving him.
Normally it was no big deal, he could always fake it until he got over it. But once in a while he'd fall for someone he couldn't get away from and that's when life really sucked.
He didn't figure he could really be blamed for falling for Jared. Everyone who knew him liked him at least a little -- unless they had eyes and a brain, in which case they liked him a lot.
But Jensen knew one definite thing about unrequited crushes, and that was to keep his mouth shut. Nothing worse than mooning over someone than to let them know you're mooning. Sympathetic and awkward didn't even begin to cover it.
At first he told himself to ignore it until it went away. Then he told himself to ignore it because it wasn't going away. Eventually he ended up here: alone at home, too late at night to be awake, and nursing yet another beer and telling himself that the only thing worse than dealing with Jared all day, was not seeing him at all.
Even half-drunk, he knew that was just one more indicator of the sad state of affairs in his head. But he was alone, and there were enough empty beer bottles in front of him that he could think shit like that without feeling entirely stupid. Sighing, he leaned back on the couch and put his feet on the table and thought about him.
Fourteen hours of Jared on the set today, twelve more hours or more tomorrow, then the weekend and maybe a few Jared-free hours here and there. Another swallow of beer and he could tell himself he didn't know if that was a good thing or not.
Fucking morose, he told himself bitterly, because he wasn't drunk enough not to be sick of his own attitude. Couldn't help himself, though, taking another drink and finding himself just wanting...what? To call Jared, bullshit for a few minutes before going to bed? Stay up all night again looking forward to getting to the set early, just to see what stupid thing Jared had found in his closet to wear?
To crawl into his own bed and think about how he would fill up Jensen's bed, cover him from head to toe and how he would smell, how he would sound-- Jensen cut himself off, because indulging in that line of thought never helped.
He couldn't ever stop himself, but it never helped. Already he was halfway down into his usual fantasy, that he'd just said...something, clever and sincere and made Jared smile at him like that and say "Yeah, man, that sounds like a great idea." Then Jensen kisses him, or maybe Jared kisses him first, and there's a long time with nothing but Jared's mouth and Jared's tongue and Jared's hands framing Jensen's face because he's seen Jared kiss, watched him every chance he has, torturing himself and wishing.
Jensen took another swallow of his beer and tried not to remember how Jared had laughed, just that afternoon, at something Jensen had said. Nearly bent in half until Jensen was afraid he'd fall over, and now Jensen couldn't remember exactly what he'd said. Lost in the sound of Jared's laughter.
He finished the beer and set it alongside the rest of the empties, and tried to decide if he'd had enough. Standing up and walking to the kitchen was still easy, so clearly he could have one more. Jensen grabbed a bottle from the fridge, reminded himself to hit the store if he wanted to get drunk again tomorrow.
He carried the beer through the apartment into the bedroom, setting it on the nightstand as he kicked off his shoes. The room was a mess, dirty laundry still laying wherever he'd dropped it, bed unmade and magazines littering the foot of it. He shucked his jeans, then quickly drank half the beer. Jensen kicked at the clutter as he slid into bed, then one more swallow of beer and he flipped off the lamp by the bed.
Rolling onto his stomach, he buried his head in the pillow and thought about a warm, heavy weight at his side and whether or not Jared was the type to steal blankets.
~~~
The next night was little better. Jensen had been released early; the remaining scenes for the day were just Jared and Missy, the week's damsel in distress. Sam was driving the woman out of town for... Jensen didn't really remember. Something with Dean out of the picture, so Jensen had an early night. He'd stopped at the store and refilled his supply of beer and frozen dinners -- and bags of salad, because indulgent he might be but he wasn't entirely stupid. He knew where his paychecks came from and they didn't come from pizzas and beer.
He threw himself down on the couch in nearly the same position as the night before -- and the night before that, and several nights the week before. He stared at the bookshelves covered in things he hadn't read but meant to someday, and gifts from well-meaning relatives, and a single shelf of paperbacks that he actually enjoyed.
He thought about grabbing one, just for a little variety from drinking beer and moping about things he couldn't have. Still too early in the evening for that, and Jensen half-heartedly thought about a dozen things he could be doing.
Then he thought about Jared, sitting in the driver's seat of the Impala, making small talk with Missy and Greg and Derek. Idly he wondered how many times they'd re-shoot, and whether Jensen should start sending Jared text messages to distract him.
Closing his eyes, it was easy to summon up how it felt, sitting in the car. The bench seats, cold at first but warmed up nicely after an hour of sitting on your ass waiting for the sound guys to give the all-clear. Easy enough to imagine it was him and Jared, because fuck if they hadn't been stuck there a thousand times before. The feel of the steering wheel that Jensen could never really quit playing with -- enough that Jared teased him about fondling the car between takes. Better, Jensen knew, to play with the steering wheel than find himself reaching over and doing something that would get him into more trouble than he needed.
Sometimes he just wanted to touch, ached with it, and Jensen let his head fall back, wishing it could be so easy. A light touch on Jared's arm, maybe feeling Jared's hand on his, squeezing back, warming and inviting. A smile, a little bit of that laugh that said he was glad, relieved that Jensen had finally done this. Hear his voice saying his name....
"Jensen's a great guy," Jared said, voice loud in Jensen's ear. There was a noise, a woman's voice making a sound that, to Jensen, sounded just the slightest bit bored.
Which didn't make a whole lot of sense because Jensen was sitting in his living room, getting drunk and being pathetic. He opened his eyes and nearly fell over from the disorientation.
He was sitting on the ground. Could see ground and people's legs and the bottom half of everything he was used to seeing on set. Could still hear Jared talking inside his head, and....
Jensen blinked and heard someone yell, "Cut out the headlights, Jared!"
Jared yelled something back, and Jensen could still hear Jared inside his head, and now that he thought about it he could feel Jared's hands. Warm, loose grip caressing, and Jensen thought there was a shiver down his spine only, really, he had no fucking clue where his spine was.
He had a pretty good idea where his hands were, though, and he tried to push himself upright.
Only he didn't move. He tried to kick his feet, and they didn't move either. He opened his mouth to ask Jared what the fuck was going on in this dream, and all he heard was the roar of the Impala's engine.
Oh, fuck.
Someone yelled at Jared again, and Jensen heard Jared muttering something about the key not even turned, and Jensen wanted to tell Jared he knew what was going on except he was pretty sure, last time he looked, the car didn't have a voice box.
There was a giggle, and Missy said, "I just love that sound. My daddy had a muscle car, I used to sit out in the garage and watch him work on it."
Jensen would have completely ignored her because hey, freaky ass dream to deal with, except for the way she was sliding over towards Jared. The flirting tone hadn't been lost on him, either, and Jensen wondered just how fucked up his subconscious was to give him a dream about Jared hitting it off with some girl.
Then again, dreaming that he was the Impala was pretty fucked up, anyway.
He listened as Jared's interest was apparently peaked by the mention of the car, and for several minutes they talked -- details Jensen hadn't realised he'd picked up from Jared, but obviously he had. Makes and models and engine parts, and Jared was talking mile a minute with Missy just sitting there, egging him on. Sliding closer again, and Jensen thought how weird that he could feel her moving inside of him -- without even being crude about it -- and how he could feel Jared's weight on the seat, pressing down against Jensen. Jared's arm was resting across the back of the seat as he turned slightly towards Missy, and his fingers lightly touched Jensen's skin. Upholstery. Whatever.
He heard his name and Jensen listened more closely, and realised Jared was talking about him again.
"Jensen's eyes usually roll back when I get this far," Jared was saying. "He isn't quite as big a car buff as I am."
"Oh, I love a car guy," Missy replied, leaning a little closer, and Jensen thought that if she tried anything while he was sitting right there, he was going to....
Well, nothing. Wasn't like Jared needed protecting. Not like Jensen had any business cock-clocking him. Not like he wasn't a car and what could he do about it anyway?
There was a laugh from Jared and Jensen sighed quietly. Jared's hands running across the back of the seat and more shivers down...well, Jensen's frame. Something had to count as a spine, he told himself. Whatever was tingling at the way Jared was touching him probably came close.
He realised Jared had just said his name again, and Missy responded with, "Well, he doesn't know what he's missing, then." She leaned in closer, and Jensen suddenly wished this dream was over, dammit, of all the things he didn't want to listen to was Jared and some weekly damsel.
Jensen felt her scoot over the last few inches, then he could feel Jared moving towards her. Missy was saying something about cars, and guys, and Jensen squeezed his eyes shut at the word 'hot' and he just wanted desperately to be awake and on his couch and not thinking about Jared.
There was a sudden burst of music -- Jared's ringtone. Jensen found himself relaxing at the interruption, not caring who the hell had sent Jared a text but willing to do anything they asked to thank them for it.
"Sorry, let me just," Jared was saying, and Jensen could feel him leaning away from Missy as he pulled out his phone. Jensen could hear the flip of the phone, then Jared laughed a little. There was the soft press of buttons, then silence as Jared read his message.
The silence lasted, and Missy was scooting around restlessly, and Jared still wasn't saying anything.
Someone thumped the top of Jensen's head and then Derek was saying they were ready, and Jensen heard Jared answering, sounding distracted.
Jensen opened his eyes and found himself in his living room. His head ached, and he set the bottle of beer down on the coffee table. His phone was sitting there and Jensen frowned.
What he wanted right then was a couple aspirin, a gallon of water, and sleep for a week. He pushed himself up -- glad to find he had hands again, and feet, and a human body all over except possibly for his head. He laughed, thinking that tomorrow he'd tell Jared about the freaky dream and Jared would probably tease him about it for the rest of the year.
Jensen stumbled into the bathroom, took a piss, then grabbed the aspirin and a glass of water, then pushed himself towards the bed. He tripped over the magazines on the floor, lost one shoe near the bed and the other he'd apparently lost somewhere else. He stripped down to his t-shirt and underwear and thought once again about seriously doing some laundry. Soon. Should have done it tonight, but all Jensen wanted was to go to sleep.
His head was still pounding as he fell asleep, curled under the sheets and dreaming of Jared.
~~~
It was pitch black when he opened his eyes, heart beating fast and so groggy and confused that he couldn't even figure out why he was sitting up. There was a knocking sound, and Jensen realised that had been what had woken him. He thought about ignoring it, but there weren't that many people who knocked on his door on a workday night.
He shoved himself sideways, looked at the clock and tried to figure out what 10:05 meant. Had he overslept, missed the six am call? Was that why the knocking sounded so pissed? Jensen stumbled towards the bedroom door and took in the fact it was dark.
Night time, he realised, halfway down the hallway to the front door. He was fine, hadn't overslept. He got to the door and opened it, blinking in confusion when he saw Jared.
"Uh?"
"Can I come in?" Jared looked nervous, and Jensen just stepped backwards. Jared took it as an invitation, and moved past him. He stood there as Jensen closed and re-locked the door, and when Jensen turned around he found Jared staring at him intently.
"Uh?" he asked again, rubbing at his head.
"Are you drunk?"
Jensen nodded, then shook his head. "Maybe?" he said, because he couldn't remember how many beers he'd had, but he was usually drunk at this time of night so chances were, yeah, he was.
Jared seemed to be thinking this over. Jensen wanted to tell him to make himself at home so Jensen could just go back to bed. Whatever he wanted, Jared could deal with alone.
Except what Jared apparently wanted was to push Jensen against the wall and kiss him.
Jensen found himself wide awake, noticeably not-drunk, and extremely confused. Didn't stop him from kissing Jared back, or from putting his hands on Jared's waist, or from moaning softly when Jared's tongue flicked against his lips.
Jared pulled back without moving away, keeping Jensen trapped against the wall. "You meant it, right?" Jared asked, and he sounded hopeful, and just a little bit uncertain.
"What?" Jensen focused on him, tried not to think about the way his cock was getting hard, pressed up against Jared's thigh. Jared seemed to notice it, as well, because the sly smile that appeared was one Jensen had seen quite often.
Never directed at him outside his dreams.
Jared put one hand on Jensen's cheek, and damn, but it was just as warm as Jensen had imagined. The touch of his fingers stroking just like the feel of his hand on the steering wheel in Jensen's dream.
"I love you, too," Jared said, and Jensen's brain gave a little stutter-stop, then it stopped completely because Jared was kissing him again, and Jensen could feel a promising hardness against his own thigh.
Thinking could wait, he told himself. He tugged at Jared, pulling him closer and losing himself in the kiss.
~~~
The next morning was slow, but brief kisses and total lack of awkward what the hell -- Jensen's head was still pounding and they'd woken up with barely enough time to shower and get to work, so awkward had been shoved into the back seat for later. Jensen had hurried around trying to get coffee made while Jared pawed through Jensen's closet for something he could steal. No jeans that would fit, of course, but a shirt and a clean pair of shorts -- Jensen wanted to know where Jared had found clean clothes in Jensen's wardrobe, but decided silence was the better part of valor.
The morning was light enough for Jensen to see just how many empty beer bottles were littering the living room, and he didn't try to tell Jared that they were a week's worth and not all from last night. He ignored the dirty dishes and the random crap scattered everywhere, and said something about cleaning up before next time that made Jared smile.
They shared a ride to the set; Jared was full of shy smiles and contented laughter, and Jensen found himself wondering when the hell he was going to wake up for real. When they got to the set, Jared said, "I'm going to hold this over your head, you know. Drunk or not, this was pretty damn sappy." He was grinning as he said it, and Jensen had no clue what he was talking about.
Jared opened his phone and dialed into his inbox, then held up the phone for Jensen to see. A message from his own phone, and Jared scrolled down for Jensen to read.
I should have told you this a long time ago. I hope I'm not too late, telling you now, but I've been in love with you for a long time. And it isn't going away -- this is the real thing, and I just had to let you know."
Jensen stared at it, because even drunk, that didn't sound like him at all. Clearly it had been, but Jensen didn't remember sending it.
Jared was still grinning at him, and Jensen just rolled his eyes. "Man, I was drunk, give me a break."
Jared just laughed again, and when Jensen took a side-step towards him, Jared bumped his hip and grinned.
Later, when they were getting ready to shoot, Jensen found himself walking past one of the Impalas. He trailed a hand down her side, and he felt the answering rumble of the engine.
Jensen froze, for just a second, then Jared was there and whispering in his ear and Jensen had barely enough time to think thank you before Jared was dragging him away.
the end