What Else Are Friends For? Real Ghostbusters fic

[gilascave]

part 6

"Winston, can I ask you a question?" Peter stood near the lockers, watching as Winston finished rubbing Ecto's rear fender with a rag. The bust the day before had involved a short car chase -- if 'car chase' was the proper term for one converted ambulance and one flying class 4 apparition racing among dockside warehouses. They'd all returned covered in greasy water and debris which no one had wanted to identify too closely.

Winston had spent the day cleaning the vehicle and giving her engine and wheels the once-over. Peter had spent the day upstairs, trying to build up the courage to come down here and ask Winston his question.

For his part, Winston didn't seem aware of the difficulty peter was having. He gave Peter a glance, said, "Sure," and moved on to rub down the rear side panel. Peter could have told him there was no more gunk on that part of Ecto, but he knew Winston would polish anyway, regardless.

Peter took a deep breath and began, "How does it feel when you like somebody?"

He figured he'd work his way up to what was bothering him, but Winston stopped what he was doing and grinned. "This about Egon?"

Peter gaped. "What? No -- I'm just asking for...comparison. So when Ray keeps asking me 'what do I feel' I have--" He stopped, because Winston didn't seem to be listening to his psycho-babble.

"You like Egon?" Winston was still grinning.

"I like all you guys -- as far as I know," Peter retorted. "That's why I'm asking." It occurred to him that he might drop the subject and go back upstairs. Pretend he'd never mentioned it, and that Winston had never seen right through him and asked exactly the question Peter had been wrestling with.

"Uh-huh." Winston leaned against Ecto, and looked at him. "If I asked you where you wanted to be right now -- down here helping me with Ecto, in the basement helping Ray check old traps, or upstairs watching Egon stare into a microscope--"

"That's not the same thing," Peter interrupted. "That last one is the only one where I'd be avoiding doing any work."

The look on Winston's face said it all, though. He didn't believe it,and he knew Peter didn't believe it either. Peter sighed, and sat down on the floor.

"But -- how does it feel? How do you know -- how do I know what's going on?"

With an expression of sympathy, Winston shook his head and walked over, sitting down to lean back against Ecto's front wheel. "You know, humans don't have all this figured out, either, most of the time," he began.

Peter waved a hand. "I'm not asking about that part. I've been watching humans for six hundred years. I've read books, seen more romantic movies than one brain should have to deal with. All it tells me is how people act, and...what they're thinking, sometimes. None of it tells me what it *feels* like." He looked over at Winston, and confessed the part that had made it so hard to ask. "What I don't know is if I *feel* anything. If I feel something that...matches what I see in the movies."

"What *do* you feel?" Winston asked.

"I don't know. I... keep thinking about him. I keep wondering where he is and what he's doing and I wanna go hang out wherever that is. I...think I feel pathetic."

Winston laughed. "Sounds right so far."

"But -- what if it's...just like, he's a friend. And it's the first time I'm finding out what that feels like? What if--" He didn't know how to explain it. He knew a thousand or more words that applied, but somehow he had no idea what to say.

"I get it." Winston nodded, seriously. "What if this is just the first time you feel friendship -- and you don't know if you're over-reacting. Mistaking it for something else."

"Because so far there hasn't *been* anything else," Peter finished. "Exactly." He glanced upstairs as though their voices might have carried up the stairs and into the lab. "What if I do something and it turns out I'm wrong?"

"Man, normally this kinda conversation is about 'what if they don't like me back'. I gotta hand it to you for being original." Winston smiled, but Peter knew he wasn't really laughing at him.

Then Peter realised what Winston had just said. "Oh, god! What if he *doesn't*--" He snapped his jaw shut, again. All he needed right now was to make things more complicated.

Now Winston was laughing at him. Before Peter could threaten to turn him into something small and amphibious, Winston said, "Nah, don't worry about that. He does, as much as you do. That is, if you *do*. I guess we should figure that one out." He moved forward, propping his elbows on his knees and resting his chin in his hands. "I have to admit, I don't have any idea how to figure it out."

"He what?" Peter heard his voice squeak.

"Huh?"

"You said he does? Like me? Like -- what I think and not like what I don't think is like...." Maybe it would be easier if he tried his native language. English seemed to be failing him miserably.

"Yeah, I mean Egon likes you. Likes, like. If you were eight years old he'd be stealing your books and knocking you down at recess. You didn't know?" Winston sounded like he was asking if Peter hadn't realised there were two baseball teams in New York.

"How do you know?"

Winston raised an eyebrow. "A little focus?"

"Huh? Focus -- oh. Right. I guess it doesn't matter if Ihe likes me if I only like.. um, arg." He dropped his head. "Ok, trying this again without the euphemisms. If Egon's in love with me, it won't matter if I don't love him back. That way. OK, one euphemism." That part hadn't even occurred to him yet. He'd been trying so hard to discover what *he* felt, if indeed he was feeling anything and not being afflicted with some form of cancer that stole his appetite and made him seek out the company of air-headed scientists.

What if Egon loved him back? What if Egon loved him?

"Are you sure?"

"Pete, do you ever think about leaving the Ghostbusters? Changing careers or maybe opening up a new Ghostbustering company in another city?"

Peter raised his head to stare at Winston. The change in conversation made no sense, but he answered, "Not really."

"Think about it for a minute, then. Think about packing it up and heading to LA, or Atlanta, or Chicago."

Frowning, Peter tried to do just that. He'd lived in Chicago before, and they'd been to Atlanta a couple years back for a small business convention. He thought about being in a new city, starting over, trying to establish a business all over again. "OK. Now what?"

"Add to that, the fact that Egon stays here."

Peter scowled. "So I'm supposed to imagine my life without him and that tells me if I'm in love?"

"Sounds like someplace to start." Winston shrugged. "You're the psychiatrist, you should be telling me how to figure this stuff out, shouldn't you?"

Peter stuck his tongue out at Winston. Then he tried to consider the question. Did he want to be off somewhere else, living his life, alone? He might even go back to Europe, live in one of the cities he was familiar with from centuries ago. Rome, or Bucharest.

Or did he want to go upstairs and watch Egon stare at things in the microscope?

"I could...." He found himself looking at the stairs again. "I don't think I like it."

"You ever think about kissing him?" Winston asked.

Peter felt himself blush. Why had 'embarrassment' been one of the first emotions he'd learned? How was that fair?

"You ever think about kissing...oh, Ray? Or me? Or Janine?"

"I think Janine would demand a bonus and paid vacation if I asked her to kiss me," Peter answered. "Threaten to file a sexual harassment suit if I didn't pay up. Besides, I've kissed girls. Lots of times." He'd kissed boys a few times, as well, though none so recently as he could remember their names. The last time had been 1890, or maybe 1891. Some farm kid, brown cheeks and sun-streaked hair, and a smile that he suddenly realised reminded him a lot of Ray's.

But it didn't make him think about going downstairs and seeing if Ray would mind if Peter kissed him.

Winston was saying, "So, you want to be with him, and you think about kissing him. That's about as much clue as I ever have when I meet a girl I like."

Peter looked over at him. He realised he had no more an idea what he was supposed to do, now, than he'd had before. Maybe just think about it more, until he knew for sure. "But...what if I just...like him, and I haven't got around to feeling that way about you and Ray yet? I've known Egon longer, and maybe I just feel *anything* about him because of that or something?"

"You wanna know?" Winston suddenly asked.

The question confused him. Of course he wanted to know -- that's why he'd come down here in the first place. "Huh?"

"You wanna know what you feel? It's a cliche, but it might work." Winston was standing up, and he gestured at Peter to stand as well. Peter did so, still confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"Conducting an experiment. Egon might even approve." Winston grinned at him, then moved forward -- and kissed him.

Peter wasn't completely stunned, as he'd had his share of unexpected kisses. He'd always managed to be born into a fairly well-looking body, because it always seemed to make life easier. It meant that once or twice -- 432 times in six hundred years -- he'd received an unexpected kiss. he didn't know what this was supposed to demonstrate, other than the fact that Winston was a pretty nice kisser, and that it didn't do much for Peter.

When he had his mouth back, he started to explain that, when Winston said, "Now go give Egon one."

"Uh - what?" Peter stared at him. He wasn't serious?

"Go kiss Egon. Compare the two. Only don't tell me if I'm a lousy kisser, OK? I don't need to know."

"You want me to go *kiss* him? Like that? Just walk up there and kiss him?"

Winston was looking at him with a strange expression on his face. It was one that said he knew something, and wasn't going to share.

"What?" Peter demanded.

Shaking his head, Winston just chuckled. Peter thought no one would notice if he throttled Winston and hid him in Ecto's trunk. Or there was still the frog option. It would be a lot easier than the alternative.

"You want me to go first? Again?"

"Don't even think about it!" Peter warned. There was no way he was going to let someone *else* go.... He reigned his reaction in, and thought about what Winston was doing.

If this were a high school romantic comedy, the ending would be telegraphed from here, he realised. He could probably even think of a few pop songs to be playing in the background.

"But...how do I *know*? Winston -- I've never felt this before. What if I'm feeling...heartburn, or I really hate him and I only think I like him, or what if I'm wrong and he likes me and I lead him on and break his heart or if I feel even more about somebody else later?"

"Then you'd be no better and no worse off than six billions other people on this planet," Winston said. "Just because we're used to feeling things, doesn't mean we know any more about it."

Peter looked at the ground, and rubbed his nose. It was almost lunch time.

"Why not go kiss him and find out?"

"Wouldn't he mind?"

"I doubt it." Winston's voice had gone all soft, like he knew something Peter didn't.

"I mean, even if I don't... if it turns out...."

"Pete, you're not gonna figure out what you feel by staring at your shoes, or by talking to me. If seeing every John Waters flick hasn't taught you enough about it to know how to recognise it, then I don't know what else to tell you."

"He won't like it," Peter said.

"You're not that bad," Winston teased.

"I mean -- he's busy, right now. I can do it later."

"Do I have to drag you up there?"

"I....No. I..." Peter signed. "OK. But if it turns out bad, I'm blaming you."

"It's a deal. Now--" Winston reached out and grabbed Peter by the shoulders, and spun him around. Peter expected him to march him to the stairs, maybe even all the way to the lab.

He hadn't realised he hadn't even heard Egon coming down the stairs and walking up behind him.

"Egon! I--"

"I don't think I would hate it, Peter. Even if it turns out you don't feel anything." Egon stepped one step closer and took hold of Peter's shoulders as Winston let go. Peter couldn't move, and it was probably just as well, because Egon just pulled him over and kissed him.

Then he realised he hadn't been paying attention at *all*, because he heard Ray saying, "Awww! Hey, Winston, you wanna go grab a pizza?"